


Shoulda Been A Weatherman

by chimeradragon



Category: RocknRolla (2008)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Gen, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not What It Looks Like, One Two doesn't get it, Poor Bob, Shenanigans, but it still is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-12 21:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17475716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chimeradragon/pseuds/chimeradragon
Summary: Shenanigans! Rocknrolla style, with Handsome Bob having confessed his feelings for a certain 'straight' One Two, and all of the situations he just can't believe keep happening. How can One Two be so oblivious?PS. Do you have any idea what writing in British/Irish slang makes my spell-check do? It must think I'm smashing the keyboard or something. Maybe demon possession? Get the salt! All mistakes are mine... I can't see much through the red freakouts spell-check is having.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> On a funny side note: This chapter has 696 words. And I didn't even do that on purpose!

Bob stifled a giggle while the rest of Speller gang watched with varying levels of amusement. One Two had been drinking; nothing unusual there, but he'd been working a double and proceeded to fall dead asleep on the ratty old couch. The ratty old couch Bob had been stretched out on, arms along the back as they watched the game. Right on to Bob's shoulder.

Drool; not much, and faint snoring included. 

Bob giggled a little as Mumbles and Fred took a picture of One Two, completely passed out and cuddling into Bob like his favorite stuffie. He adjusted and his hand slid to land; palm up, in Bob's lap. The giggling man froze, not sure how to respond. His face spoke volumes of his indecision. He knew he should remove One Two's hand from his crotch, but he was afraid the other would actually wake up and be pissed, thinking he was playing a joke on him. Or be taking advantage of the situation.

So, Bob did the only logical thing. He kept both arms on the back of the couch and refused to move until One Two moved his hand on his own. 

...Which would have been so much better if he didn't fidget in his sleep. 

Bob bit his lip as he fought against his traitorous body, much to the amusement of his mates. 

Even Mumbles was snickering at Bob's growing 'problem' as One Two snuffed his sleep, hot breath on Bob's neck as he nuzzled slightly into his 'pillow' with a soft sigh.

"You needin' any 'elp there Bobski?" Fred asked with an undisguised giggle.

"Fuck off," Bob growled lowly, but the heat of the statement was ruined by the rapidly growing blush. 

"We can move 'im if ya need," Mumbles offered, face serious and quiet. 

"You know... I don' trust you lot," Bob frowned but nodded to Mumbles. "Jus' don' wake 'im, right?"

Mumbles nodded and moved slowly, trying to keep from waking One Two abruptly and getting any of them hit. He put a careful hand on the sleeve of One Two's jacket, slowly pulling the offending limb up and off of Bob's lap. Only to be met with a whine and a growling noise as the sleeping man jerked his hand away and leaned more fully onto Bob on the couch. 

"A'right... who slipped som'fing?" Bob asked with a look that promised death even as his best mate locked long arms around him. 

"I think he's just knackered himself out," Cookie replied honestly, seeing the potential murder in Bob's eyes. "You might wanna take 'im home and put 'im to bed."

"Right then," Mumbles said, voice a little louder. "Let's get 'im up, Handsome. We gotta get him to a bed. Sooner, rather than later. Don' want 'im wakin' up round these losers." 

Bob stifled a groan and proceeded to bring his arms down off the couch. As soon as he touched One Two's back there was a sudden coughing snuffle. "You back wit' us sleepin' beauty?" he asked, unable to poke a little fun at his friend. 

"Hm," One Two murmured, blinking slowly, still clearly out of it. He yawned and stretched; which meant crushing Bob to him for a second, before looking around. "Wha' 'appened?"

"You passed out, and Bob 'ere? Heroically acted as your pillow," Mumbles offered. "You might wanna watch them wanderin' hands when you sleep though."

"Wha-?" One Two asked, mind still foggy. 

"Never mind, I'm takin' ya 'ome. An' don' you worry 'bout nothin'," Bob stated, voice low with warning. He stood and pulled One Two to his feet with the motion. He slung the man's arm over his shoulder and glared at anyone that moved to help. "You've 'ad a bit too much. Gonna let ya sleep it off."

"Thanks, 'andsome," One Two practically slurred as he reached up with his free hand to pat Bob's face clumsily. Bob groaned as he dragged the other out. He'd never hear the end of it, but he had to get One Two someplace other than the pub. It was safer for everyone. And some of Bob's sanity... so that would be a bonus. 

TBC ...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (One Two talking about driving ... inappropriately)

"You know, Bob, I do love it when ya drive, but there's just som'in 'bout drivin' that really does for me, ya know?" One Two asked from the driver's seat of his Range Rover. Bob was sitting in the passenger seat; a seat he'd regained after One Two had finished freaking out, and looked over with a raised eyebrow. "Ya can put down the brow. Ya know what I'm talkin' 'bout."

"I do love drivin'," Bob replied slowly, eyes narrowed at the other man as he tried to figure out the angle. 

"See? I think it's some'in ta do wit' da power. Havin' all that muscle at yer beck and call? Kinda makes ya tingle don' it, Bob?" One Two asked as they wound through the currently open road of the countryside. An errand for some rich someone that needed a ridiculous request handled, no questions asked. The money was too good to pass up, but One Two didn't want to go alone, and Bob's car was too small for the boxes and bags that had been loaded in. 

"Right ..." Bob hedged slowly, trying to spot the trap he knew he'd be in soon enough. 

"I mean slidin' from gear to gear and feelin' that power, the smooth slide of it when ye've 'ad enough practice ta really be good at it," One Two continued, looking out the windscreen and not at his worried passenger. 

"Well, it takes practice to really good at some'fing," Bob's eyebrows were making an impressive attempt at reaching his shaved hairline while he checked his seat belt. 

"An' ta think... there's people out there that think drivin's a stupid thin' ta know," One Two scoffed as he smacked the wheel to emphasize his point. 

"Sure, but some jus' don' see the point. There's decent public transport 'round here," Bob offered. "Ya know, not everyone likes to be in the driver's seat all the time." 

"Yeah, but I only like it when you're drivin', Bob. Mumbles is pret'y good, but I think you're one of the best. I'd even let ya drive mine if we need," One Two replied with an enthusiastic nod. He let his hand drift down to sit on the gearshift and Bob's eyes were drawn to the motion. 

Bob bit his lip as he watched One Two's hand move slowly over the gearshift in an unconscious stroke of the head of the stick. A mockery of some of Bob's fantasies in the past. And present. And future if One Two didn't stop molesting the poor gear shift. Bob shifted a bit uncomfortable with the situation, but unable to look away. 

"And there's just so much ya can do with a petrol driven vehicle. The hum and purr o' the engine," One Two sighed wistful as he shifted gears again. His muscles bunched and flexed as he moved with practiced precision. "Nice ta sit back and enjoy someone else bein' in control once in a while though, eh?"

Bob swallowed hard, trying to kick his brain back into gear. He seriously doubted that One Two knew what he was doing to the slightly younger and smaller man. "...'s good," Bob finally managed to squeak out. 

"Ya'll right, Bobski? Ya just lay back and let me take care 'o everythin'," One Two offered with a look of pure concern on his face. 

"Thanks," Bob squeaked out as he pulled his jacket up around his shoulders like a blanket or shield. He hid his now burning face in the material. He was going to die. And One Two was going to be the one to do it. No with his fists, but his words. 

TBC ...


End file.
